sleep uneasy

For the past week my sleeping pattern has been really weird. I’ve held out on blogging a bit just to see if it keeps up, and it has for the most part.

It started Wednesday evening. I got home from school later than usual, I can’t for the life of me remember why I was so late. I believe I went to Second Cup with a friend, as mentioned in a previous blog. Right.

Actually, this has to do with the nap mentioned in that same blog. This one.

The only reason I now remember what I did that day is because of that blog. Thanks, past me.

Anyway. As stated, was falling asleep on the floor, got up went to bed, woke up, light were off- i didn’t turn them off!!- thought I was in outerspace.

So we get that I was really disoriented.

When I went back to sleep that night I slept well, until I woke up 7am the next day.
On Thursdays I don’t have to get up until 12:30 at the latest to catch the bus I need to get to school on time.

I woke up 7 when my roommate was getting ready, and then woke up every single hour after that, checked the time with full clarity, and then went back to sleep for another hour.  This is really really unlike me. I mean, yeah I can wake up often but I won’t be so aware of checking the time, nor will I fall asleep so quickly.

Thursday night I went to go to sleep at 2am which is kind of normal- only as soon as the light turned off I was wide awake. Not only that, my roommate’s toilet was running, and I could hear the water trickling into it through my wall, so I was uber irritated.

I got less than three hours of sleep thursday night.

Friday night I fully intended on napping the second I got home, but that didn’t happen. Instead, I went out with friends for food then visited another sick friend. Upon arriving home I watched some Fushigi Yuugi and read a bit and then went to sleep at 2ish.

That was all fine and normal, except that I didn’t wake up until 2:30pm.

And, I was so heavy from sleep I’d pressed into my bed so hard that I made my eyebrow piercing bleed a little.

No matter how late I go to sleep I usually wake up around 11 or 12 and think ok I should get up. I woke up at 9 to my roommates talking and fell back asleep easily, didn’t wake up again until 2:30.

Last night and today has been the worse by far for sleeping.

My best friend got a kitten last night and he’s only 6 weeks old, so requires a lot of supervision. Somehow her boyfriend and I stayed up until 4:30am watching the junglebook and looking up weird animals and bugs, and I didn’t feel tired at all. I can’t stay awake past 3 lately.

So we all climbed into bed and fell asleep okay, except I woke up 6:30 when my cell phone alarm went off because I am an idiot and forgot to turn it off. I got up, turned that off, went back to bed and realised I could hear all the sleep noises they were making, so I moved out to the couch.

I checked on Pete (the kitten) before climbing onto that wonderfully soft couch to go back to sleep, and as soon as I shut the door the little guy woke up and began crying his cute little head off.

I stayed up for an hour watching a kitten poop, pee, and toddle around a bathroom until he tuckered himself out and went to sleep.

So I went to sleep 7:30, when my friends brother was up and watching Dr. Who upstairs.

2 hours later I heard the brother and the mother talking about how they had to get his hockey bag from the room the kitten was in, so I got up in the middle of the best REM of my life and picked up the cat while he got what he needed. Of course Pete wanted to play again and I was in no mood so I brought him in to the friend and the boyfriend and said ‘SOMEONE PLAY WITH THIS I AM TOO TIRED.’

So they did.

They also put him back when they thought he’d fallen asleep but he started meowing so I called to the boyfriend to take care of him again.

At some point, I have no idea what time it was, they left to go get some toys for the cat. All I can remember is ignoring his sad little meows, and then my friends were walking by me again.

Then my friends Dad was yelling at me to get some breakfast, so at 12:30 I got up and ate.

My friend and I took a nap while the boyfriend played with Pete, and I think we were out for about 2 hours. All I know was that was the best sleep I had all day. I woke up and groggily went upstairs to watch Iron Chef with them.

Now here I am, writing about this. Why?

My sleep this week has been weird, yes. But what makes it feel weirder is that it feels like it’s being controlled by something else. I’ve never had this feeling before. When I woke up from the nap and the lights were off, I felt like something was making me forget being awake, and was trying to keep me in bed. I think that’s why I had that floating feeling, like I was in space or underwater.

When I woke up every hour the next day, it literally felt like my head was being pulled up to look at the time and then let go to go back to sleep. I can’t explain it, but it was the weirdest feeling.

My sleep thursday night was tortured because of the dreams I was having and my inability to stay asleep.

On Saturday, waking up felt like I was being pushed into the bed by something quite strong, and my sleep this morning just sucked all around.

I know it’s strange to hear this, but it does feel like my sleep is being controlled by someone who’s not me. And sure, it sounds dumb or weird or crazy, but these past few days have been the strangest sleeps of my life.

I guess I’ll see what tonight holds, since I need to get up in about 6 hours.

I suppose I’ll read something to help me fall asleep, hopefully I sleep well.

Emma.

I don’t care what anyone says…

girls are absolutely disgusting.

I have never ever heard a man complain about the cleanliness of their public washrooms.

But I hear it from girls all the time. And it’s the truth.

Publish washrooms for girls are absolutely disgusting.

I lived in an all girls residence on campus last year, and there was a damn good reason why I moved out.

It was because of the bathrooms.

I know people of the male variety are convinced that women keep their bathrooms in pristine condition with scents and soaps and butlers and couches and all that bullshit- it is a lie.

Women go to the bathroom in pairs to protect each other from being eaten by whatever hideous mess is lurking behind a stall. I swear it.

At my university we have a public center with a food court and all sorts of student services available. It’s appropriately named the University Centre, and is kind of in the center of the university. There are two bathrooms that I know of- one on the third floor past the food court, another on the second floor staircase landing.

The one on the third floor is absolutely disgusting. I have no idea how it gets in that sort of state.

I left Blackall House partly because I didn’t enjoy living in such a small space, and partly because I wanted to cook my own food and shower without flip flops. Don’t get me wrong, I miss living so close to all my friends, but the bathrooms were absolutely horrible.

What self respecting girl would leave dirty pads and tampons on the floor of the bathroom? You might not believe me, but it happened. Often.

In almost all of our floor meetings residents were asked to please respect the people they were living with and throw out their dirty feminine hygeine products like any normal woman would do.

The part of that sentence you might want to pay the most attentiong to is that it happened in all of our floor meetings.

It never stopped.

Our RA even told us a story of how she was getting out of the shower and someones panty liner got stuck to the bottom of the her flip flop. She wound up hopping around the stall trying to hold her towel around her and trying not to slip so that she could shake it off without touching it.

It’s not cool, ok.

The bathroom on the third floor of the UC literally frightens me.
You walk in and you’re faced with a row of sinks and mirrors and girls fixing their hair or makeup or clothes and that’s all normal.

Adjacent is a row of stalls and you have to make your choice carefully. There’s never been a trip to the bathroom where a girl just walks into the first stall and settles. Oh no. It’s a kind of game, checking each one until you find one that somewhat resembles clean.

These are the facts, and I’m sure someone will agree with me: there is at least one toilet completely plugged with number one, number two, and a lot of toilet paper. Someones you can tell when it’s someone’s time of the month.

Then when you find an empty toilet, the seat is dented. DENTED. HOW DO TOILET SEATS GET DENTED. Probably the same way shoe scuffs get on each side of the stall walls. I don’t know why you would pick the largest bathroom in the UC to get intimate in, but that is the only explanation I can think of for those marks to be there. Oh, of course, you could have been escaping a serial killer? But there aren’t any in St. John’s that I’ve heard of so far this semester.

It’s ridiculous.

I have absolutely no idea how they get in this state of disrepair. I have no idea why someone would pick off pieces of toilet paper to throw on the floor. I have no idea why they’d fill a sink with paper towels and keep the water running just to piss off some custodian. This isn’t middle school. Classes won’t be interrupted with an announcement on the fact that the girls washroom is flooding because some smart aleck plugged a sink.

There’s no PA system in MUN. It would be cleaned up quickly and no one would hear about it.

Honestly, I have no idea why girls are so gross, but I just want everone to know that I flush the toilet. I wash my hands. I definitely don’t pick my nose and leave it on the wall.

I miss the days when people just wrote stupid things in the bathroom stalls. Not left shoe scuffs on them and dented toilet seats or didn’t bother to flush- at all.

I apologise if this blog is disgusting, but it has been bothering me since I walked past that third floor UC bathroom and all I could smell was poop.

Emma.

death=nap+forever

I just woke up from a coma of a nap.

After school today two friends of mine rode the bus with me back to my house so that I could get my debit card, and then we walked back downt to the mall.

One of them left, while the other one came to Second Cup with me, only my favourite coffee place of all time, ever.

We sat down and did a word search and a spot the difference and I just felt so so so sleepy. I only live about ten minutes away from the mall, and so does my friend, but we both got busses home.

I did a sketch of a painting I’m doing for a friends Christmas gift, which I’ll blog about at a later date, but immediately afterwards I fell asleep with my face down in the floor.

So, I put my laptop on my desk, got up and got in bed.

Just before falling asleep again I thought I heard the door open, but didn’t hear anything in the house, so I guess it was next door.

I woke up three hours later after having an intense dream, and feeling completely disoriented.

The lights were out, for one, and I don’t remember turning them off.

I texted my roommate to ask if she turned out my light, assuming she came back home. She’d left as I was walking into the house.

Her answer was no, she wasn’t back from the library yet.

So, needless to say I am amazingly confused.

I can’t for the life of me remember if I turned out my own light or not.

When I woke up I felt like I was in a completely different world. Admittedly I was really relaxed and warm, and it was a very nice feeling, but I just felt so out of place.

Sometimes naps shouldn’t happen, no matter how nice they feel.

I couldn’t see straight for about twenty minutes after I got up, and now I am sitting here just watching Glee.

I’m going to go write something now, I think. There needs to be some kind of productivity come out of tonight!

Emma

The Library at 5:42pm

I came here with the intention of making a quick blog before catching my bus at 5:55.

After attempting to log onto a computer and successfully wasting ten minutes, I got onto the one I am currently occupying, and it worked.

I had every intention of going to all my classes today.
I swear I did.

However I woke up at 12:30pm when my first class was at 2 and I had to catch the 1:10 bus to get there on time, and I was just too tired.

I got the bus at 3:10, got to my conversation class, played scattergories in french, and then met friends for supper.

It was at this supper I made the decision to skip my 5:30 french class.

Of course by the time I checked the bus schedule and realised I’d just missed my bus, I really didn’t want to go into class late, so I came here.

The library.

Normally I would have sat at the bus stop for half an hour listening to music and people watching, but I decided for a change of scenery.

My university is fairly large. It has about 25 buildings that are frequently used by the students, and I only ever use about 5.

I find that whenever I venture to a new part of the university I see a lot of new people, and sometimes I will be introduced to new friends, or just see people I haven’t seen in a long time.

I’m currently in the Queen Elizabeth II Library. The QE2. Almost every time I make a visit here I see someone I haven’t seen in years, or I people watch to my hearts content and see some fascinating characters.

The University Centre is a place I love to be really early in the morning, or really late at night. In the middle of the day I don’t like to be there without friends because it is so over populated at the lunchtime hours. In the morning and nights are the only times I like to be left alone there, and that doesn’t happen often.

French class is twenty minutes in, now, and once I finish this post I’ll bum around the internet for a while before catching a bus home half an hour earlier than I’d usually get home.

When I get home I’ll probably google some recipes, play some games, or read.

It’s a usual evening for me, and I want it to stay this way- but without the guilt of skipping class.

Perhaps I’ll look up my courses for next year now, but It was nice to just write for a little while.

Emma.

First post?

Hi.

I decided today while working on christmas gifts and cooking a big dinner that I wanted to talk to people but at the same time not talk to people.

A blog is a perfect way to do this, right?

I’ve started many internet journal projects in the past, and so far all of them have fallen through. I am so bad at keeping logs/journals/diaries, it isn’t even funny. I can hardly look back on myself as a 12 year old and think ‘wow i wrote complete garbage and I was a whiny brat,’ because the only self documentation available to me is a local journal/forum site, in which I had taken nearly a years leave of absence.

Admittedly, most of the journals I wrote on there in my youth were garbage.

And of course by youth I mean four years ago.

I don’t know if anyone new and exciting will read this, I don’t know if it will gain any popularity or even the most minute amount of recognition. This may be the largest load of bullshit sitting on the internet festering and stinking.

But it’s worth a try. I want to make something out of this, because I make nothing out of everything.

See you tomorrow.

Emma.