a new perspective on things.

This.

This is how I will make the difference my life needed. This is how I will merge the two parts of me that I’ve always wanted to have together.

Instead of a one thing at a time person, I want to do everything at once.

Lately, days have seemed to pass like an hour. I want to live each one to its fullest, the entire time constantly doing things I love.

Of course this means I’ll have my days of lying in bed forever.

2010 was beautiful. It brought me everything I have wanted in life.

2011 will be even better. year one of a new decade. throw out caps lock, it won’t hold me down. 2011 is the year in which everything i have ever loved will have its day.

a day to read a book.

a day to play with kittens in bed.

a day to kiss a boy.

and that’s all i’d do all day.

i’ll start coming here more, writing solid, concrete, lengthy ideas. but,

i’m starting this tumblr account to get down all of the small ideas, and conversations i have throughout my days. to document the pictures i’ve seen, the songs i’ve heard. all of the mary jane i share with my friends has helped me realise what a truly beautiful place this world is, and what simple, beautiful treasures i can find.

more than anything i want to take that beauty and share it all with you.

Owen Pallett or Final Fantasy

On Friday, February 12th, I bussed to my friend Walter’s house after my classes were finished for the day. He lives a couple streets away from the venue Owen Pallett was playing, so we spent the afternoon listening to all of his albums and an EP and getting pretty excited in general. My friend Allie drove two hours out to St. John’s to see him, so I walked to meet her and bring her to Walter’s.

Around six we were getting ready to go to the church to lineup, the show starting at 8:30.

Sometime in the scramble to get all of our things together I received a phone call from one of my best friends telling me the show was cancelled. My first reaction was to call him a bullshitter, because multiple people had been trying to freak me out about it, but he insisted, and we looked at the Facebook group and saw that it was true. Owen Pallett and co. couldn’t land in St. John’s because of the fog. They’d gotten here and had to turn around to go back to Halifax.

Disappointed is a light term.

We walked downtown and went to HavaJava and I made quick plans with a friend to get together at his house and sit around with our friends who were supposed to go and try and be hopeful that he would make it on tomorrow, Saturday.

Allie and I had to leave before anyone else had gotten there, but I cabbed us to the mall and we walked around waiting for her parents to pick her up.

I walked home in the rain, fell in a snowbank once, was splashed by cars three times, and had to make my way through slush in only low rise converse sneakers. In case you don’t know, those aren’t water proof.

I arrived home drenched, slightly upset, but kind of relieved. See, I hadn’t really acknowledged the fact that I was going to be seeing Final Fantasy that night. I hadn’t been really excited like I was in December in the weeks leading up to the show.  So, I took a shower to warm up, messed around online, and went to bed.

Saturday it was sunny all morning. I woke up early, bussed to Kelsey Drive, listened to Final Fantasy and Heartland specifically the entire ride and picked up things to make cute little Valentine’s for my friends. I had just missed the bus so I sat in the shelter lsitening to songs from Heartland over and over and being thoroughly amazed by them. An older man walked up when it was close to the time for the bus to arrive.

“Excuse me, do you know what time the bus gets here?”
Me: ten after one
“It’ll be here soon then, right?”
Me: Yes, it’s one oh six now.
“Alright, thank you then. Does that go to the Avalon Mall?”
Me: Yes, it loops around Kenmount and down Thorburn and then it’s the mall
“Good! So I guess you’re going to university, right? What are you doing?”
Me: English and French
“Ha! You’re in the right country to be doing English and French then!”
Me: Yeah, seems like it.
“So you’re in what year now?”
Me: my second.
“I’ll guess you’re around 21 right?”
Me: I just turned 20, actually.
“Good, good. So tomorrow’s Valentine’s day, right? You have a special someone to celebrate with?”
Me: No, sir.
“Ah, me either. I’m hoping to find a special someone someday though! Everyone should have a special someone, don’t you think?
Me: I’d like to think so.

I told him my name was Emma when he asked and he said his Grandmother was Emma and she died when she was 104 years old. I told him I was named after my great grandmother and she died when she was 100.
“There must be something about the name Emma, right? -laughs-”
Me: Let’s hope so…

I arrived home and immediately check up every thing I could think of to see if the show was still going ahead. Cinnamon hearts kept me company until i saw Mr. Pallett tweet this: “Our second attempt at landing in St Johns: foiled. Your city is foggy b’ys. Back in Halifax. Third time’s a charm?”

Heartbroken.

I immediately went to local forums, facebook events, the mightpop homepage, owenpallett’s website, anything to see if he was going to try to make another flight in. A friend called and we agreed to keep track of it until we heard more, and another friend asked me to keep him postponed.

Around 4 we learned that he was scheduled for another flight at 5:30, so I got ready and bussed down to Walter’s, again, in the snow.

It was dark, but a beautiful night, and Allie called me when my bus was just leaving the university and heading downtown to let me know that Owen Pallett’s plane had landed, he was currently in St. John’s.

The show was still going ahead.

So, I called all my friends, let them know that things were a-go, called Laura and work and cheered her up monumentally, I hope, to let her know we’d still see the show tonight.

Elliott picked up Walter and I and we managed to find our way to the George Street United Church and waited outside with only four other people there. When we arrived we could hear the violin inside, practicing.

I sat in the second row, with a space between the two heads in front of me perfect to see Owen Pallett. The opening act was a beautiful one- Alex Lukashevsky is a talented man.

When Owen Pallett was setting up some of his equipment before he started to play I made some sort of ridiculous noise that summed up my excitement for him to start playing. I looked up and he was looking at me in near bewilderment.

Win.

Thomas Gill was a strange kind of cute and the two of them worked well together and I can’t believe how lucky I was to see him live and so very close to me. The show was beautiful. When he played my favourite song I started to cry and  just immediately began to sing along. Every single one of my friends looked at me, Walter shook my shoulders and they were all so excited and happy, I guess, to see me pretty much melt into a blob of fangirlishness glee.

I bought merch from cute boys at the front of the church, all three cd’s and three shirts (two to give to friends who just didn’t want to get up ) and they thanked me for my nearly hundred dollar purchase.

I asked the girl if I could keep my ticket, so he hole punched it for me and drew a blew heart on my hand that stayed for days.

There are some times when it feels like I never saw him live. I’d spent that morning watching videos of him live on YouTube and the whole thing is surreal. Every now and then a friend will send me a text along the lines of ‘I miss Owen’ or ‘I’m listening to ____ and I wish we were seeing him live again’ and I will just get filled with such satisfaction. I saw my second favourite musician live February 13th, 2010, and now my third favourite musicians, Said the Whale, will be here April 10th, and I’ll get the opportunity to see them, as well.

I’ve never seen a band or artist live, simply because no one I liked has ever come here, but right now I feel so stinking lucky. I wear my Owen Pallett shirt and I feel warm and happy because of what I can associate it with, a good night with friends, people I genuinely like and love, and the music we all love. Those that had hardly heard of Final Fantasy or Owen Pallett before hand were amazed by his performance, and all I could do was smile and nod, I’d known that all along.

Another account of the night, here.

during my favourite song, Many Lives

"Invest!" Also during Many Lives

Photo cred to Devin Shares!

Many Lives- 49 mp is my favourite song, so here is a video of it, and a couple of others that really made the night for me.

We got him to come back for an encore, so the last two songs are the ones from that!

(I have that shirt he’s wearing! Well, not the exact one.)

This one is just amazing. It was the last song of his actual set.

And for the encore:

I am dead serious about that.

The Relay For Life

This Saturday past was my university’s 4th annual Relay for Life. It was my first year participating, but I was pretty stinking excited to hang out in the MUN gym for a night with my friends.

It is essentially one giant sleepover for cancer research. My team’s name was ‘We’re Off to Find A Cure!’ and was understandably Wizard of Oz themed.

I was the cowardly lion.

The Survivor Lap and Luminary ceremonies nearly made me cry, and by the time the night was over I just really wanted to go home to bed and sleep, despire the fun I had with friends, and the great food we’d shared.

I wore my sweatpants on top of leggings and before I could get the leggings off my legs had chafed, so the rest of the night and the 2 more hours I had to walk the relay were unbearably painful. Not to mention, they’d given me a shirt too large and my arms had chafed, too. :/

Last year MUN raised over 50,000 for cancer research. This year their goal was 60,000. We raised over 70,000 dollars, which is absolutely phenomenal and I thought everyone was going to burst into tears.

It amazes me to see what a community with one common denominator can do when they come together for a cause. The nerdfighters raised over 110,000 dollars for Haiti so far, and with only a few weeks to prepare and gather pledges, 800 or so MUN alumni raised over 70,000 for cancer research.

I am awed.

Twenty.

I stared at the clock at 11:59, waiting and waiting to see the moment it turned to 12:00. When it did, my entire body jolted, my heart skipped a beat. I actually felt myself age.

It’s a very strange feeling; knowing I am so old yet feeling no difference to my personality. I know I felt that moment when I left behind being a teenager, and I know I am slowly starting to feel the difference, I just don’t think I want to accept it. If I take the time to mature now, I don’t know who I’ll be.

I like someone really badly. I want him to like me back.

I want to do well in school right now. Writing this, of course, is hindering my reading. It’s my birthday and the only two classes I have today are both tests, and I’m not prepared for either one of them.

Writing has taken the back burner for me lately and I’m not okay with that. Perhaps I need to make more time for it, which I’ll try to do. A major factor in doing this will be curring down on the amount of procrastinating I do.

I’m 20 now, and sitting here in the UC which is unnaturally busy for so early on a monday morning I’m starting to feel different.

My friends are the best. My best friends and my MUN friends and I all went to dinner at Jungle Jims on Saturday, and it was such a good time. I haven’t laughed so hard in a while. Then, my best friends and I all went glow bowling, which was equally as fun.

I feel a little bad because I haven’t done anythign with my Clarenville friends, and didn’t invite them to the dinner and bowling because it would have been too many people, but perhaps I’ll order in food tonight for my roommate and I.

A major reason I am ending the post here is because the lineup at treats is completely empty.

For my birthday I got the equivalent of 6 volumes of Fushigi Yuugi and 4 volumes of Fruits Basket and I nearly cried when I got them like when I got the Robert Pattinson movies.

Casettes

I really like casette tapes. I think they’re super neat. They play music, they’re classic symbols, and mixed tapes are the most powerful form of present you can receive/give, in my opinion.

I have another use for casettes. They make fantastically cute walletts.

I stumbledupon this tutorial by Chezlin, and needless to say this is where I got the idea for this blog, specifically the crafting part of it.

So here we go:

You get your hands on a casette tape.

My mothers car and thrift stores were fantastic finds for casettes. The ones held together by screws are super easy to get apart, it saves you a lot of trouble, but the ones glued together DO come apart, they just need quite a bit of coaxing. With this in mind, though, be careful- older ones can break apart really easily.

After you’ve got it opened and gutted (and perhaps taken out the tape to make some artwork out of?) you’ll notice all the little plastic innards that hold the thing together. They’re very easy to break off with a pair of pliers, just hold them by the base and be careful not to break the casette. Try to get as flat a surface as you can.

I won’t post many pictures, since the link above leads you to a great tutorial, I’m just sharing my experiences with it.

A 9″ zipper fits perfect around the three sides of the casette. They come in lots of colours and are easy to find at Wal-Mart.

The glue I used is a LePage brand glue in a purple tube called flexible plastic. I got it at Canadian Tire, but I’m pretty sure you could get it at Wal-Mart and any other hardward store. It’s a popular brand.

This glue is super effective, so you don’t need to use a lot- especially when you apply the felt. It comes off the fingers easily, and only a thin smear is needed to secure the zipper. Just hold it in place for a while! The hardest part, I think, it after you’ve glued the zipper to one side of the casette and then getting it on to another. After much trial and error I think the best way is to zip it up, and glue the side closets to the end of the zipper (bottom of it? The part that the pull tab is on when it’s opened) and then glue it on. After that you can worry about securing the very end and then keep on going.

After that, cutting out the rectangle of felt is next. I find that it doesn’t hurt to make it just a little bit longer, so that it can really attach to all of the casette, and still keep a space at the bottom. Rounding the edges makes it look a bit better, too.

–On a side note, never roll up the bottom of the glue upside down over your pants. it WILL fall onto them–

When attaching felt, like I said, don’t use too much glue. Use enough to cover the surfaces you want. In my experience it’s best to cover one half of the casette and lay it down, then move on to the next. If you casette has a little clear window, don’t put glue on it because it looks bad. This being said, using a solid coloured casette is definitely best- Though if you’re using a clear one, then try and use one with a sticker on the outside!

All that’s left now, is to leave it left open over night. I’m pretty sure with the LePage glue this isn’t necessary, but since it’s such a wide surface, I like to be safe than sorry. After that you’re good to go! Overnight the stifling heavy duty glue smell goes away, too

One last note: If you use the LePage glue, be careful! It doesn’t burn or stick your fingers together like super glue, in fact it’s really easy to get off of skin. But, when the casette and zipper and felt go together- they won’t come off. The glue practically melts the plastic of the casette to keep it on!

So, here is a gallery of pictures. I’ve made seven of these so far. The first one is still the best one, the zupper is straight all around. Every one since then has been crooked! I think I’ve figured out what I’ve been doing wrong now, so the one I made tonight might be better!

The green one is one I made while writing this, and you can see it with just the zipper on and after the felt’s been applied. The orange I finished yesterday. It’s a bit crooked at stiff, but it’s still super cute! I love the colours. I couldn’t find an orange zipper, sadly enough.

The black and yellow one is the first wallett I made, and it’s mine. It’s pictured here after seven months of use- still kicking! I haven’t had a single problem with it. The words rubbed off (it was a Police casette) but that’s no big deal! You can see black parts through the yellow on the inside because I used TOO MUCH GLUE! Take my advice! I mean it! haha.

In terms of use: these walletts fit a lot of cards really easily. Money folded in half twice fits perfectly in them, and even afterward there’s room for change! Change WILL fall out and be clumsy though. This is why I’ve made a habit of leaving the last end zipped when I take things out. I find the walletts clumsy in a hurry, so I only unzip them halfway and shove my cards back into them when I’m in a lineup. Opening them all the way and unfolding them is an accident waiting to happen. Your cards and change will flop out and fly everywhere- leaving the last little bit zipped is the best!

They’re simple and easy to make, and they really make a statement. They’re cute and functional! I have gotten SO MANY compliments on mine- and people are always shocked when I tell them I made it myself. I messed up my loan registrationg because the girl supposed to be helping me kept fawning over them and telling me I should sell them!

One bottle of glue costs 10 bucks or more, I think, and can make four or five casettes. Zippers are mere pocket change, and if you’re lucky you’ve got pliers and a couple of casettes lying around, it’s definitely easy to make profit off of them, or just to use as a gift! I will have given six of mine away once I give away these two new ones tomorrow!

happy gluing everyone

indieVISUAL Journal challenge

I know several friends who have started the 365 photography project- where you essentially take one picture every day for a year.

I know two people on YouTube who are making a video every day this year in order to document it.

The website dailybooth essentially is for taking a picture of yourself every day for a year (or more) and while I’ve been on it for over a year, I have somewhere around 230 pictures taken, so obviously, I’m not good at boothing daily.

The indieVISUAL Journal Challenge is one where instead of keeping a journal and writing the days events in it, you draw a picture of the days events each day.

Admittedly I there have been a couple of days so far (and it’s only the 8th day) where I have been too tired, or not in access of my sketchpad to do my drawings, but I have every single one done. It’s a project that I’m looking forward to, especially when I get more time to sit down and make really decent drawings, or maybe even paintings.

So far they’re kind of poo-y, done with a sharpie pen, pencil, and colouring leads, but I like the idea of this project, and I want this to be something I apply myself to. I used to draw so much in the past, now it’s taken the backburner. I have no interest in just doodling anymore. So maybe this will remind me of how I used to be.

Here are my drawings for so far. Instead of loading them to my tumblr everyday, I think I might just post them here every week- even if more action for my Tumblr seems like a good idea.

Holiday from Real

Despite my lack of updating over the winter break, the views on this blog managed to stay up pretty well.

I was impressed.

I don’t know who you people are who wander here nearly every day, but thanks for dropping by!

I spent my Christmas vacation holed up in my mother’s basement playing video games until 3 in the morning where I would then movie to bed and read silly fanfictions until 4-5 in the morning. I would fall asleep only after my laptop battery died and forced me to go to sleep, with my cat cuddled into my leg and I wouldn’t wake up until somewhere in between 12:30 and 3.

Needless to say it is going to be hard to get out of that routine.

Now, I am back in my house in St. John’s, sitting in my room in my new computer chair, waiting to see if perhaps Jeff Peach is going to come over and hang out until it’s time to go to the Village and browse and be sad about my life because I can’t find a hard copy of Valkyrie Profile for the PSX anywhere, then returning to Lauras and playing video games all night and playing with Pete and spending some quality time with my new file on FF9.

That’s right, I started another file of Final Fantasy 9.

I’ve owned this copy of the game for 10 years now (this year will be my 11th) and it is by far my most prized possession. The cut scenes skip and freeze and will then skip themselves in their entirety, something I get really nervous that it’s going to completely break, but I still play it. I know most of the secrets and have done nearly all of the side quests, and I still find so much enjoyment from it.

However,  when I first moved here I let some people play it and afterwards when I went to continue myself the screen wouldn’t load after I walked into a room and I got so upset, because I was playing the game through and attempting to do as much as I could in one go.

So, after playing copious amounts of Harvest Moon I loaded up FF9 and started a new file, and that is what I plan to do.

Of course, I also plan on reading The Lovely Bones before the 15th, reading a few more Anita Blake books, keeping up on my writing and doing well in coursework, so this semester is going to be a bit busy.

I started a new project for myself.
I know a lot of people who do the 365 photography project, and there’s the indieVISUAL journal challenge for 2010. Essentially, instead of keeping a journal for the 365 days of the year, the challenge is to draw a picture that sums up the day every single day of the year.

There’s been one instance where I drew the picture after 12am, but I hadn’t been asleep yet, and another where I just drew two on the same page, so so far it hasn’t been going to well, but I’m hoping that being back out here will have a more positive effect on the project.

I’m really excited to have something like this to devote just a little bit of time every single day to.

I went to sleep this morning at 6am and woke up naturally before my alarm at 8. I didn’t nap on the four hour ride out here from my mother’s house. Instead, I was full of energy, fighting the urge to sing at the top of my lungs in the back seat. I wanted to sing, and dance, and read so much.

Now, as I am writing this I am even falling asleep, and feeling sick, and it isn’t good.

I should probably take a nap though.

Let it go on the record that I am going to miss my cat so freaking badly.

These past few nights she has cuddled me so thoroughly it broke my heart because she never does that. I left her at home limping au cause de  je ne sais pas, and looking sad because a) I was leaving or b) she thought she was going to have to go into the car again.

I won’t see her again until Easter, and if I am correct in my assumption that the Final Fantasy concert is close to Easter break, then I won’t see her until I get out of school for the summer in April.

I am going to go consult with friends and take a nap because I am sitting up and warm and just want to sleep more than anything.

I’ll probably dream of fighting monsters on the trunk of Cleyra. (A little FF9 reference for you.)

Emma.

New Years Resolutions:

-Make fewer jokes about poop
-Swear less
-Lose enough weight to be a dress size 8 (that’d be losing 3-4 dress sizes)
-Get better grades.

Tibb’s Eve

I’m assuming most everyone reading this won’t realise that today is Tibb’s Eve- defined as ‘a day or two before Christmas.’ It’s essential the Eve of Christmas Eve.

Since I’ve been home I have done nothing except watch the Scream Channel (or Dusk), play Harvest Moon, wrap the christmas gifts my mom and step-dad have for each other, and bake cookies. I made oatcakes yesterday, and even dipped them in chocolate. Now, of course, my mother has put them away and I can’t. find. them.

Annoyed.

Needless to say this break has been going pretty well. Yesterday was the first day I got out of my pyjama’s since I got here. I mailed a card to my father and played Harvest Moon for a ridiculous amount of time. Then, I registered for Tetris Friends and played that for an unacceptable amount of time. There are only so many falling blocks I can take before I feel silly.

This has been the latest I’ve gotten up since I’ve been home, too. I woke up an hour ago.

Barry (step dad) and I drove into Gander to get stocking stuffers for my mom, because she always buys them for herself since none of us realised that someone had to do that.

My brother and I got mom a silver heart shaped locket with ‘MOM’ engraved on the front, and when we meet  up  Christmas Day he’ll have pictures of the three of us to put in it. I’m pretty sure she’ll bawl her eyes out when she gets it.

Now, I am about to start playing either Tetris or Harvest Moon again, and when my mom gets home she’ll have more gifts for me to wrap. For now, I am watching the Watcher in the Woods, another scary movie dating from 1980. Should be a time. (I’ve only watched one holiday movie this season).

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Emma

Christmas gifts

So for christmas this year I wasn’t really sure what to get for Laura’s boyfriend.

A few months ago the two of them and another friend bought t-shirts from threadless based off the design Mr. Mittens’ Big Adventure. This is what the shirt looks like.

Right. So, needless to say it is awesome and has become a big part of our friendship. I’ve stolen the shirt from Laura until further notice (Oh wait I told you I borrowed it, didn’t I…) Since it’s just a big joke between the five of us, I decided that the best thing to get for Jeff would be a painting of it.

Since I started this blog to share my more craftier moments, here it is. Don’t let him know though!

Yep.

I meant to post pictures of gifts I made for my good friend Jeff, and also casette tape walletts that I like to make, but I am just not up to it right now.

I have to go study for grammar and ignore my roommate’s silly boyfriend.

Emma

another day another storm

It’s snowing again today and while my first instinct is to curl up with a familiar movie, cuddle the cat and drink hot chocolate, I can’t do that.

Why?

I have a French final in approximately… 4.5 hours that I haven’t studied for. So here I am, self-exiled in the University Centre until 7pm where I will go and wish I’d never decided to minor in French.

Good news: my roommates Dad hired someone to do all our snow clearing for us! Weeeoooo. No more bad backs, maybe.

I’m getting so spoiled by people doing work for me. I don’t know what I’ll do when there isn’t a hired service available for everything.

Can you chew my food for me? No? Oh darn.

Pretty sure one of my roommates feels like she has no obligations. I am not a hired service, however. I have just as many exams as you, though admittedly not in nursing, but come on. At least rinse off your effin dishes so I don’t have to wash them twice, ok.

I miss my cat.

And my Mom.

And my best friends.

I haven’t been able to fall asleep until 6am the past two nights and some people have said this is because of stress, but I haven’t been worrying nearly as much as I should be. Is the stress hiding? Is it a secret? I don’t know, maybe.

Come 3 o’clock I’m going to study straight. Start thinking ahead. After my test I will read until the roommate and I go home where I will promptly go to bed, get up early and read all day again. Then, by Saturday afternoon I’ll be over halfway done, with two English exams under my belt. I can spend Saturday afternoon working on Christmas gifts, and writing stories, and blogging about them.

Make immediate future goals that you can accomplish swiftly and feel good about.

My first piece of advice to myself.

Time to take my own advice.

Good day to you all, Happy Holidays, hope your snow storm is merry and bright.

Emma.